rooftops, sick bitches

It's summer!

  

totally acceptable

Gert is a sick bitch haters suck ballz. haters-suck-BALLZ.

narcissistic radness. heaps tuff. haters get fucked.

-Eug.

"You're turn miss Hilton" 18+

Fan-fiction is so-good. After coming across this epic story on www.celebfanforum.com I've been heavily considering giving up on living a normal life as a fully functioning person and moving back in with my parents and just writing stories based on the lives of my favorite celebrities and submitting them to rully cool sites like this and sharing them with the world. The story below was no doubt written by a fat sweaty thirty year old man with a rape fetish who lives with his grandparents.

You can find the whole story here:  http://www.celebfanforum.com/showthread.php?t=5824

but let's have a sneaky peak:

"I hate you Lindsay."

"Don't be so dramatic Paris one night in jail shouldn't kill you."

"Not if I kill you first."

Paris advanced towards Lindsay but was interrupted.

"First of all if anyone is killing in here it's me."

A third person in the cell stepped forward. She was dressed in
tight blues jeans a white tank stopped which displayed prominent nipples
and a leather jacket. The petite blonde pushed Paris back and laughed at
how easily she moved.

"My name is Trina, and you'll do as I say unless you want to get
hurt. You may be somebody out there but in here you are nobody. Both of
you are scum in here. Nothing more then fresh meat, now sit down and shut
up, you too Pippy not one word."

(i repeat "My name is Trina")

Trina turned and looked out into the hall way. The area was empty
so she decided to make a move.

"Ok pretty it's time to have some fun. Kiss shorty and show me some
tongue."

Both seemed appaulled at this thought and shot each other dirty
looks. Paris voiced there objection.

"No fucking way, she's nothing more than a dirty street rat."

"Do it before I hurt you."

Paris realized she had no option so she reluctantly leaned in and
kissed Lindsay. The pair tied tongues until Lindsay bit Paris's.

Trina walked over to Lindsay and slapped her across the head.

"Not cute red, now I am going to hurt you. Stand up."

Lindsay stood reluctantly, afraid of what would happen if she
didn't.

"Hike up your skirt and turn around."

Lindsay turned and Paris pulled her skirt up, and gave her bare ass
a little smack. Trina smiled and took off her belt.

"This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you."

Lindsay let out a loud cry as the belt made impact with her ass.
Paris smiled as her former friend whined in pain. This sight was like a
dream to her. Lindsay was finally getting what she deserved. After ten
solid strikes Trina stopped. She pushed Lindsay back on the bench and she
let out a loud whimper when she hit.

"Your turn Ms. Hilton"

Paris stayed where she was and Trina had no choice but to grab her.
The fact that Trina was 5 inches shorter than Paris didn't seemed to make.
Because Paris was so frail she moved easily.

"Let me go you crazy bitch."

"I'll show you crazy."

Trina ripped off Paris's dress and forced her to the floor. The
sight of Paris naked drove Trina wild. Her breasts were so small that
Trina had no trouble cupping them in her hands and squeezing her perky
nipples. Trina pounced and dove in going down on Paris while Lindsay
watched. Lindsay retreated slightly fearing that Trina may come at her
next.

"Please stop. I..."

Paris tried to force Trina off her but she wasn't strong enough.
She looked around the jail trying to find help and was surprised to see
Lindsay playing with herself. Her hands were rapidly rubbed her cunt in
rhythm with Paris's moaning. This sight distracted her from what Trina was
doing and she found herself enjoying what was happening. Paris squirmed
from the sensation Trina's nose ring caused when it brushed against her
cunt. Trina was amused by how wet she was and even took a whiff of her
panties before she removed them.

"Smells like heaven. That's a good little pitch. Cum for me."

Lindsay was caught up in the moment and realized she needed a
release. The sensation her fingers caused pushed her to a new level of
pleasure. Trina smiled when she saw Lindsay fingering herself and pulling
at her halter top so she could play with her nipples. The nights
festivities had awaken desires which had been buried. For quite some time,
Lindsay had been attracted to Paris. This presented a problem and Lindsay
felt it necessary to distance herself.

That occurred six months ago and now here she was fucking herself in
front of Paris who was being screwed by a lesbian biker chick. The present
situation seemed like something out of a dream.

Lindsay awoke from her daze to see Paris arch her back and let out a
tremendous scream as she reached orgasm. Her legs tensed up around Trina
who didn't seem to mind. Trina kept up her efforts until she reached her
own climax. She held her head in place for a moment than gave Paris's
inner thigh a peck before she stood up.

"Alright your turn LL. Get over her and eat me."

Trina stood and removed her jeans and underwear. Lindsay froze
until Paris grabbed her and threw her towards Trina.

"Hurry up I'm still horny."

(and then everything from this point onwards is just gravy)

Trina forced Lindsay to her knees then placed her head between her
legs. Lindsay stopped for a second and smelled her crotch. The smell was
pleasing to her and she dove in. Paris remained on the ground and leaned
against the wall. She watched Lindsay work over Trina wished she was
Trina. She let out a laugh when Lindsay grabbed a hold of Trina's ass.

"Hey watch it, my ass is very sensitive."

In response Lindsey grabbed a hold of Trina's pussy lips. Her knees
buckled slightly and grabbed a hold of Lindsay's hair to keep her balance.

There are so many things in the world i don't understand, i guess i've got a lot of growing up to do.

-Eug

daddy issues

See here's Jim with the family he chose to not throw out (...im assuming the dog died):

 

and here is the illegitimate bastard child who was kicked to the curb and financially cut off:

I found this poor soul a few days ago in Fitzroy Centrelink, I took his picture in exchange for $2. He told me he considered himself "like a less glamorous version of Anastasia" then after a lengthy awkward silence he began to cry.

-Eug

...that didn't happen

 

Obsessed.

Steampunk interiors, vintage surgical, apothecary and morbid anatomy. I'm in love. (Eug, you know how I feel about this.)

Dear Dolly-Doctor,

I have these big dark purple marks in my knee pits, and every time i look at them i want to vomit... It's too hot to wear long pants so i have to expose my ex-matic knee pits to the general public and I'm worried I'm making other innocent people want to vomit too. What if my crush walks up behind me and sees? that would be so embarrassment. Is this normal?

-anon

soon to be available on ebay

 

bummer

I have contradicted myself. In one post i refer to Nicola Formichetti as "rad" and have nothing but praise for him and his work, while in a post on Lady Gaga i unwittingly referred to him as "a retarded four year old stylist who stupid people confuse as a fashion visionary". I did not realize he was styling for Gaga, and was responsible for the absolute abortion of an image she promotes. I have just one thing to say; Nicola, you are dead to me. I feel upset, offended and betrayed.

*spits*

-Eug

ok lets have fun

Dear Lady Gaga,

Fuck-off.

You are NOT Madonna, you are a home-school jungle freak who's a less hot version of Miss Piggy (that is not an acknowledgment of you're attempts to be all "cool/ pop culture savvy" by going with Kermit the frog to the VMA's. Kermit is a puppet who isn't capable of making his own decisions and as far as i'm concerned he was raped.). I'm sick of your shtick, the over the top, attention seeking wank that looks as if it's been handpicked for you by some retarded four year old stylist who stupid people confuse as a fashion visionary. You remind me of a desperate, uber-unpopular high school teen who copies everyone around her who knows how to dress, but in doing so goes completely overboard and ends up looking like this:

You're a type. You do not look good, you're convinced you're so right on, but in fact this is the most hectic and ridiculous costume i have ever seen. You are on Ellen, this is an interview, and those rings don't even spin they bounce back and forward cos your neck is in the way. You piss me off in the same way that "club kids" do. The outfits you wear obviously take huge amounts of time to construct and the end result creates an effect similar to someone wearing an oversized t-shirt with "...MUM GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM IM BUSY!!!" printed across the front, in twenty years you will probably end up looking the same way that Boy George looks now ..gross. I find looking at pictures of you exhausting. I swear to god i saw a photo recently and the dress you were wearing made you look like you sat down on a wedding cake and it just stuck. By the way, Jeremy Scott is lame.

This post is hateful, and probably just an angry vent over the fact that i'm unemployed and com-pletely fucked. bugger. But this does not change the fact that Lady GayGay is totally Gay.

worthy adversaries

VS.

ps; to the bongo/ samba dudes on Brunswick street last night who started an epic street dance party, that was fucking sick.

 

Life is a bastard when you're poor, money can totes buy happiness.

I really like sxc furniture and sxc shoes. Today shoes are winning the race. Like honestly, Tristan Blair has put all my favourite things into a collection: leopard print, black leather, baby pink, wedges, a sxc lady, the valleygirl hair flip, simplistic styling.

I would busk all day and night for these.

"You will cryyyyy"

I had a conversation recently about which Angela Anaconda character I would probably be most like. Normally these conversations are easy and don't last for very long and involve characters from shows like f.r.i.e.n.d.s. and the OC in which case it's easy to sort of pick the dude/girl that most suits you. This decision is usually based on looks or personality traits. But this conversation went for about an hour and at the end of it i still could not decide which character i would be and discovered a new found appreciation for the diversity of the characters in the show. I will run through the similarities between me and:

ANEGLA ANACONDA:

• nothing. i want this bitch dead. her voice is what i will hear through a megaphone in hell while im burning in hot lava and being whipped by satan. bitchhh i hope Johnny Abbatti's crazy pizza-chef-nonna loses it with you one day and beats the shit out of you with a rolling pin. YOUR PARENTS DON'T EVEN LOVE YOU! done.

GINA LASH:

• unfortunately me and Gina Lash have quite a lot in common, mainly that i eat uncontrollably. tonight i ate three giant, stale muffins out of someone else's fridge cos i aint give a fuck (thankyou tahnee). however i do not wear glasses or own a turtle named Sheldon who eats a lot of carrots... AND my mom never slept with my primary school sport teacher.

GORDY RHINEHART:

• i have asthma and whip out my ventolin whenever i stress.
• hewmew.

JANUARY & KARLENE

• i giggle like a bitch.

JOSEPHINE PRALENE'S MOM

• i never leave my house.

MRS. BRINKS

• i hate angela.
• i have man hands and feet.
• i should not be a primary or "elementary" school teacher. ever.

NANNETTE MANOIR

• i hate angela.
• im often seen wearing a french school girls uniform.

In conclusion, unless you're shit and boring or have no desire to be in the show at all, when you try and pick you will not be able to find just-one Angela Anaconda character that's you in a nutshell.

ps; in regards to f.r.i.e.n.d.s. im obviously Joey (as much as i'd like to claim Rachel) and in regards to the OC im obvs Marissa cos of my wild party antics and gun slinging history.

ugh, luvyousomuchyoukeepmeyoung

-Eug