jerkdarling.

2010-01-12T07:08:00.000-08:00

REHAB

2010-01-12T06:50:00.000-08:00

No matter how bad it is things tend to sort themselves out in the end.Television IS rubbish.Etsy is real rad.Ebay's dead.Megadeth were 2nd best.What about 3rd and 4th best? Noone ever mentions them.Let's play hopscotch in some hipster club.I just like all of a sudden can see the light.

2010-01-11T21:49:00.000-08:00

MY LYFE IS (pseudo) GAY

2010-01-11T21:28:00.000-08:00

EVERY-TIME I THINK I HAVE A JOB I GET FUCKED IN THE ARSE BY MY POTENTIAL EMPLOYER. I DO NOT PLAN TO EAT AT LENTIL AS ANYTHING FOR THE REST OF MY GOD-DAMN LIFE. THIS HAS HAPPENED SO MANY FUCKING TIMES I WANT TO CRY.

EG;

HELLO THIS IS CIARAN.

CIARAN?

YES. I DID A TRIAL SHIFT FOR YOU JUST BEFORE CHRISTMAS.. YOU TOLD ME TO GIVE YOU A CALL AFTER THE 8TH? (IT IS THE 7TH)

OH OK.

..SO I'M JUST CALLING TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I'M READY TO GO IF YOU'RE STILL INTERESTED?

NO I'M RIGHT THANKS DARL. BYE.

(HANGS UP.)

I AM NOT A TELEMARKETER YOU STUPID FUCKING BITCH. I HATE YOU AND I HOPE YOUR GAY ARSE CAFE EXPLODES.

-Eug.

Managing the moods.

2010-01-11T04:32:00.000-08:00

It was just a stage.

Love Gert.

Dope.

2010-01-04T20:41:00.000-08:00

Quick update

2009-12-27T01:25:00.000-08:00

Dear Melbourne,

Paris is really rad.

Im having a fabulous time and never want to leave (well not for a long while anyway).

It's really exciting to catch up with all of my old friends and not to forget the new ones too.

This city is definitely more than its cracked up to be. Although I havent found the love of my life yet (dont they say Paris is the city of love?) I'm sure that my night in shining armour is just around the corner.

Anyway, I hope you get this postcard soon because I heard the posties are on strike.

I dont really miss you at all Melbourne, apart from Starbucks, Lentil and the frozen yoghurt exotic fruit whips. Oh and 7/11 for late night/early morn ciggie fixes.

Lots of love and best wishes for the new year,

Gertrude x

long walk on a rainy day with a broken camera phone

2009-12-17T20:08:00.000-08:00

PIXAR IN THE 1980's

2009-12-12T21:48:00.000-08:00

1994 called, it wants it's babysitter back

2009-12-10T04:30:00.000-08:00

This is totally unsettling...

2009-12-08T23:39:00.001-08:00

soz chastity you looked waaaaaaaaaaaay better before...

Vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti

2009-12-08T21:48:00.000-08:00

Spending the whole night youtoobing Eminem oldies and Beyonce newbies is bloody fabulous.With the exception of Dido's appearance. Beyonce I really really love you, i think you're amazing, bootylicious and super talented. I also think you and Jay-Z are a match made in heaven. Eminem, you WERE amazing, you gotta prove yaself to me once again.
P.S. Has anyone ever eaten Urban Burger? oooooooooooooooooooooohhhh.

Worth going to Footscary? yes.

2009-12-08T19:33:00.000-08:00

ob-sessed wiv diss song

Dear Santa,

2009-12-06T05:36:00.001-08:00

Last year me and my immediate family spent christmas lunch with Lucky Diamond Rich, Guinness book of World Records' most tattooed man in the world and an old friend of my Dads. I shit you not. The one and only part of this mans body that isn't decorated with ink is the soul of just one big toe. Totally-fucking-epic. He's also just a really cool dude, chilled as cucumber. So dear Santa, all i want for christmas is a repeat of this event or something equally as cool and interesting.

-Eug.

"My name isn't Jesus"

2009-12-04T19:12:00.000-08:00

"Kenny, I know you're about fifty pounds overweight, but when i say "move it" please interpret that as move-your-fat-tub-of-lard-ass-NOW!"

NOT-IMPRESSED

2009-12-03T02:55:00.001-08:00

I'm pretty sure this is bad enough to be sent to jail... I don't care how high you are, that shit aint right.

i die

2009-12-03T00:54:00.000-08:00

Note to self:

2009-12-02T15:10:00.000-08:00

NEVER tell anyone they look like Kelly Osbourne ...especially if they actually do.

-Eug

BOO YOU

2009-12-02T04:01:00.000-08:00

Some things that irk (sp?) maybe erk..me...
Eggs: Theyre a traditional breakfast menu fixture, but theyre weird. Sometimes I think I feel like them, but then i eat them and I feel like vomming. Cause I think about them, and its lyyyyke a baby feotus chicky in a gel like sack that you crack open into a pan and it sizzles and then you just wait til the bottom goes brown (or you flip em, you know sunny side up) and serve em up on a plate,, bit o' pepper, bit o' salt, wam bam thankyou mam, breakfast is served.. Course that dont count for poached or scrambled or even baked.
basically theyre fucking weird and i dont think ill ever get used to them.
And then there's COTTAGE CHEESE: When i was alll 'yeah im on a jenny craig diet im gonna be lyyykeee heapz ano' i would buy cottage cheese cos jenny craig says its good for losing weight, mad flava low fat, but really, when youve been reading all your life in dolly doctor that girls get discharge thats got a cottage cheese like consistency then its obviously thrush, welllll then you get turned off whenever you rip open the seal to spread it on your low fat low carb mountain bread pita.
EVERYTHINGS GOOD IN HINESIGHT> why do cunts have to associate every gross human body function with food.
Foods's rad, std's arent.
fuck yew dolly doctor.
fuck yew mens gallery for not paying me at 8pm oon the dot like per usual and resulting in me not have more than a dollar in my account for the last 4 days.
fuck yew the fact that i should have done my assignment tonight but instead downed much too much wine.
lyfe is swell when you cant spell.
LOVE GERTIE TOO RUDE.

balls to you Yarra Trams.

2009-12-01T21:41:00.000-08:00

Trams are fucking ghey. Being from Paris (aka Perth) I was originally like "cool im on a tram wow" but eight months and three $167 tram fines later I've developed a pretty serious hatred for trams, tram guards and everything tram related. tram tram tram. Maybe if i say the word enough times it will lose all its meaning. Maybe if tram tickets didn't cost $3.70 for two-hours i would actually buy them instead of sitting at the very back with my head out the window on the look out for guards. No offense to anyone whose dad is a tram guard or whatever, but it has to be said, that becoming a tram guard means that you are going to hell.

-Eug

wigs and wheelchairs

2009-12-01T05:14:00.000-08:00

rooftops, sick bitches

2009-11-30T02:08:00.000-08:00

It's summer!

2009-11-30T01:59:00.000-08:00

2009-11-29T20:49:00.000-08:00

totally acceptable

2009-11-26T17:17:00.000-08:00

2009-11-25T22:26:00.000-08:00

Gert is a sick bitch haters suck ballz. haters-suck-BALLZ.

2009-11-25T10:03:00.001-08:00

narcissistic radness. heaps tuff. haters get fucked.

-Eug.

"You're turn miss Hilton" 18+

2009-11-24T01:47:00.000-08:00

Fan-fiction is so-good. After coming across this epic story on www.celebfanforum.com I've been heavily considering giving up on living a normal life as a fully functioning person and moving back in with my parents and just writing stories based on the lives of my favorite celebrities and submitting them to rully cool sites like this and sharing them with the world. The story below was no doubt written by a fat sweaty thirty year old man with a rape fetish who lives with his grandparents.

You can find the whole story here: http://www.celebfanforum.com/showthread.php?t=5824

but let's have a sneaky peak:

"I hate you Lindsay."

"Don't be so dramatic Paris one night in jail shouldn't kill you."

"Not if I kill you first."

Paris advanced towards Lindsay but was interrupted.

"First of all if anyone is killing in here it's me."

A third person in the cell stepped forward. She was dressed in
tight blues jeans a white tank stopped which displayed prominent nipples
and a leather jacket. The petite blonde pushed Paris back and laughed at
how easily she moved.

"My name is Trina, and you'll do as I say unless you want to get
hurt. You may be somebody out there but in here you are nobody. Both of
you are scum in here. Nothing more then fresh meat, now sit down and shut
up, you too Pippy not one word."

(i repeat "My name is Trina")

Trina turned and looked out into the hall way. The area was empty
so she decided to make a move.

"Ok pretty it's time to have some fun. Kiss shorty and show me some
tongue."

Both seemed appaulled at this thought and shot each other dirty
looks. Paris voiced there objection.

"No fucking way, she's nothing more than a dirty street rat."

"Do it before I hurt you."

Paris realized she had no option so she reluctantly leaned in and
kissed Lindsay. The pair tied tongues until Lindsay bit Paris's.

Trina walked over to Lindsay and slapped her across the head.

"Not cute red, now I am going to hurt you. Stand up."

Lindsay stood reluctantly, afraid of what would happen if she
didn't.

"Hike up your skirt and turn around."

Lindsay turned and Paris pulled her skirt up, and gave her bare ass
a little smack. Trina smiled and took off her belt.

"This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you."

Lindsay let out a loud cry as the belt made impact with her ass.
Paris smiled as her former friend whined in pain. This sight was like a
dream to her. Lindsay was finally getting what she deserved. After ten
solid strikes Trina stopped. She pushed Lindsay back on the bench and she
let out a loud whimper when she hit.

"Your turn Ms. Hilton"

Paris stayed where she was and Trina had no choice but to grab her.
The fact that Trina was 5 inches shorter than Paris didn't seemed to make.
Because Paris was so frail she moved easily.

"Let me go you crazy bitch."

"I'll show you crazy."

Trina ripped off Paris's dress and forced her to the floor. The
sight of Paris naked drove Trina wild. Her breasts were so small that
Trina had no trouble cupping them in her hands and squeezing her perky
nipples. Trina pounced and dove in going down on Paris while Lindsay
watched. Lindsay retreated slightly fearing that Trina may come at her
next.

"Please stop. I..."

Paris tried to force Trina off her but she wasn't strong enough.
She looked around the jail trying to find help and was surprised to see
Lindsay playing with herself. Her hands were rapidly rubbed her cunt in
rhythm with Paris's moaning. This sight distracted her from what Trina was
doing and she found herself enjoying what was happening. Paris squirmed
from the sensation Trina's nose ring caused when it brushed against her
cunt. Trina was amused by how wet she was and even took a whiff of her
panties before she removed them.

"Smells like heaven. That's a good little pitch. Cum for me."

Lindsay was caught up in the moment and realized she needed a
release. The sensation her fingers caused pushed her to a new level of
pleasure. Trina smiled when she saw Lindsay fingering herself and pulling
at her halter top so she could play with her nipples. The nights
festivities had awaken desires which had been buried. For quite some time,
Lindsay had been attracted to Paris. This presented a problem and Lindsay
felt it necessary to distance herself.

That occurred six months ago and now here she was fucking herself in
front of Paris who was being screwed by a lesbian biker chick. The present
situation seemed like something out of a dream.

Lindsay awoke from her daze to see Paris arch her back and let out a
tremendous scream as she reached orgasm. Her legs tensed up around Trina
who didn't seem to mind. Trina kept up her efforts until she reached her
own climax. She held her head in place for a moment than gave Paris's
inner thigh a peck before she stood up.

"Alright your turn LL. Get over her and eat me."

Trina stood and removed her jeans and underwear. Lindsay froze
until Paris grabbed her and threw her towards Trina.

"Hurry up I'm still horny."

(and then everything from this point onwards is just gravy)

Trina forced Lindsay to her knees then placed her head between her
legs. Lindsay stopped for a second and smelled her crotch. The smell was
pleasing to her and she dove in. Paris remained on the ground and leaned
against the wall. She watched Lindsay work over Trina wished she was
Trina. She let out a laugh when Lindsay grabbed a hold of Trina's ass.

"Hey watch it, my ass is very sensitive."

In response Lindsey grabbed a hold of Trina's pussy lips. Her knees
buckled slightly and grabbed a hold of Lindsay's hair to keep her balance.

There are so many things in the world i don't understand, i guess i've got a lot of growing up to do.

-Eug

daddy issues

2009-11-22T06:25:00.000-08:00

See here's Jim with the family he chose to not throw out (...im assuming the dog died):

and here is the illegitimate bastard child who was kicked to the curb and financially cut off:

I found this poor soul a few days ago in Fitzroy Centrelink, I took his picture in exchange for $2. He told me he considered himself "like a less glamorous version of Anastasia" then after a lengthy awkward silence he began to cry.

-Eug

2009-11-21T00:50:00.000-08:00

...that didn't happen

Obsessed.

2009-11-20T17:52:00.000-08:00

Steampunk interiors, vintage surgical, apothecary and morbid anatomy. I'm in love. (Eug, you know how I feel about this.)

2009-11-19T23:34:00.001-08:00

Dear Dolly-Doctor,

I have these big dark purple marks in my knee pits, and every time i look at them i want to vomit... It's too hot to wear long pants so i have to expose my ex-matic knee pits to the general public and I'm worried I'm making other innocent people want to vomit too. What if my crush walks up behind me and sees? that would be so embarrassment. Is this normal?

-anon

soon to be available on ebay

2009-11-19T04:08:00.000-08:00

bummer

2009-11-18T05:56:00.000-08:00

I have contradicted myself. In one post i refer to Nicola Formichetti as "rad" and have nothing but praise for him and his work, while in a post on Lady Gaga i unwittingly referred to him as "a retarded four year old stylist who stupid people confuse as a fashion visionary". I did not realize he was styling for Gaga, and was responsible for the absolute abortion of an image she promotes. I have just one thing to say; Nicola, you are dead to me. I feel upset, offended and betrayed.

*spits*

-Eug

ok lets have fun

2009-11-17T03:46:00.001-08:00

Dear Lady Gaga,

2009-11-16T05:47:00.000-08:00

Fuck-off.

You are NOT Madonna, you are a home-school jungle freak who's a less hot version of Miss Piggy (that is not an acknowledgment of you're attempts to be all "cool/ pop culture savvy" by going with Kermit the frog to the VMA's. Kermit is a puppet who isn't capable of making his own decisions and as far as i'm concerned he was raped.). I'm sick of your shtick, the over the top, attention seeking wank that looks as if it's been handpicked for you by some retarded four year old stylist who stupid people confuse as a fashion visionary. You remind me of a desperate, uber-unpopular high school teen who copies everyone around her who knows how to dress, but in doing so goes completely overboard and ends up looking like this:

You're a type. You do not look good, you're convinced you're so right on, but in fact this is the most hectic and ridiculous costume i have ever seen. You are on Ellen, this is an interview, and those rings don't even spin they bounce back and forward cos your neck is in the way. You piss me off in the same way that "club kids" do. The outfits you wear obviously take huge amounts of time to construct and the end result creates an effect similar to someone wearing an oversized t-shirt with "...MUM GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM IM BUSY!!!" printed across the front, in twenty years you will probably end up looking the same way that Boy George looks now ..gross. I find looking at pictures of you exhausting. I swear to god i saw a photo recently and the dress you were wearing made you look like you sat down on a wedding cake and it just stuck. By the way, Jeremy Scott is lame.

This post is hateful, and probably just an angry vent over the fact that i'm unemployed and com-pletely fucked. bugger. But this does not change the fact that Lady GayGay is totally Gay.

worthy adversaries

2009-11-14T22:33:00.000-08:00

VS.

ps; to the bongo/ samba dudes on Brunswick street last night who started an epic street dance party, that was fucking sick.

2009-11-12T00:11:00.001-08:00

Life is a bastard when you're poor, money can totes buy happiness.

2009-11-09T22:46:00.000-08:00

I really like sxc furniture and sxc shoes. Today shoes are winning the race. Like honestly, Tristan Blair has put all my favourite things into a collection: leopard print, black leather, baby pink, wedges, a sxc lady, the valleygirl hair flip, simplistic styling.

I would busk all day and night for these.

"You will cryyyyy"

2009-11-08T06:19:00.000-08:00

I had a conversation recently about which Angela Anaconda character I would probably be most like. Normally these conversations are easy and don't last for very long and involve characters from shows like f.r.i.e.n.d.s. and the OC in which case it's easy to sort of pick the dude/girl that most suits you. This decision is usually based on looks or personality traits. But this conversation went for about an hour and at the end of it i still could not decide which character i would be and discovered a new found appreciation for the diversity of the characters in the show. I will run through the similarities between me and:

ANEGLA ANACONDA:

nothing. i want this bitch dead. her voice is what i will hear through a megaphone in hell while im burning in hot lava and being whipped by satan. bitchhh i hope Johnny Abbatti's crazy pizza-chef-nonna loses it with you one day and beats the shit out of you with a rolling pin. YOUR PARENTS DON'T EVEN LOVE YOU! done.

GINA LASH:

unfortunately me and Gina Lash have quite a lot in common, mainly that i eat uncontrollably. tonight i ate three giant, stale muffins out of someone else's fridge cos i aint give a fuck (thankyou tahnee). however i do not wear glasses or own a turtle named Sheldon who eats a lot of carrots... AND my mom never slept with my primary school sport teacher.

GORDY RHINEHART:

i have asthma and whip out my ventolin whenever i stress.
hewmew.

JANUARY & KARLENE

i giggle like a bitch.

JOSEPHINE PRALENE'S MOM

i never leave my house.

MRS. BRINKS

i hate angela.
i have man hands and feet.
i should not be a primary or "elementary" school teacher. ever.

NANNETTE MANOIR

i hate angela.
im often seen wearing a french school girls uniform.

In conclusion, unless you're shit and boring or have no desire to be in the show at all, when you try and pick you will not be able to find just-one Angela Anaconda character that's you in a nutshell.

ps; in regards to f.r.i.e.n.d.s. im obviously Joey (as much as i'd like to claim Rachel) and in regards to the OC im obvs Marissa cos of my wild party antics and gun slinging history.

ugh, luvyousomuchyoukeepmeyoung

-Eug

Vom & Run

2009-11-06T18:40:00.000-08:00

It has come to my attention that the content on jerk. has become predominantly eugene based and in this case, bad music based. This is partly my fault, considering I can sometimes be too lazy to go to the bathroom when im busting for a wee, let alone muster the enthusiasm to post some witty slash wise anecdote. BUT still, I would like to say 'fuck you to the moon and back boy' (in a non sexual way der) if you want to take over the page i'll battle you BECAUSE you vommed on my carpet last saturday night and then you ran away with no shoes on and no money in hand and vomit down the front of you and whiskers on your face. You then proceeded to try and hail a taxi to no avail so a hawthorn lesbian had to help you. When you got home you had no money so the taxi driver got angry at you, then you spewed again in your own bed and on your electronics, then you spewed pastries in a bucket all day on the couch until tahnee and i rescued you.

FACT: I'm a fucking mad rad friend and you're shit.

FACT: you start off cute and then turn retarded.

Yeeeeahhh, so cop that.

Still anon, costumes are a cover.

Love Gert.

note i wrote to a boy i heapz lyked

2009-11-02T04:32:00.000-08:00

When I see you
I run out of words to say (oh oh)
I wouldn't leave you
'Cause you're that type of boy to make me stay (oh oh)

I see the guys tryna' holla
boy I don't wanna bother you
'Cause you're independent and you got my attention
Can I be your baby father
boy I just wanna show you
That I love what you are doin' hun

I see you in da club
You gettin' down good
I wanna get with you, yeah
I see you in da club
You showin' thugs love
I wanna get with you

You're so beautiful
So damn beautiful
Said you're so beautiful
So damn beautiful

You're so beautiful
beautiful
beautiful
beautiful
You're so beautiful
beautiful
beautiful
beautiful
You're so beautiful

[not Akon & Colby O'donis]
Like the clouds you
Drift me away, far away (yeah)
And like the sun you
Brighten my day, you brighten my day (yeah)
I never wanna see you cry cry cry
And I never wanna tell a lie lie lie
Said I never wanna see you cry cry cry
And I never wanna tell a lie lie lie

[not Akon]
I see you in da club
You gettin' down good
I wanna get with you, yeah
I see you in da club
You showin' thugs love
I wanna get with you

You're so beautiful
So damn beautiful
Said you're so beautiful
So damn beautiful

[NOT Akon & Colby O'Donis]
You're so beautiful
Beautiful
Beautiful
Beautiful
You're so beautiful
Beautiful
Beautiful
Beautiful

[not Kardinal Offishall, who dat fag?]
Kardinal told you
Whether the sky blue or yellow
This fella ain't that mellow
If it ain't about you (you)
Hourglass shape make the place go (ooohhh)
Waistline makes my soldier salute
I'mma brute (brute)
High from your high heel game
normal shoes push up ya ass last name
And you livin' in the fast lane
Eyes like an angel
Watch my yellin' as he undress
Spotless (otless) bad to the bone
Make me wanna go put me in the triple X zone (zone)
Lames don't know how to talk to you
So let me walk with you, hold my hand
I'mma spend them grands, but after you undress
Not like a hooker, but more like a prince
Queen, empror, president
Pull any way ya got my love
'Cause your beautiful (okay??)

[not Akon]
I see you in da club
You gettin' down good
I wanna get with you (ohh yeah)
I see you in da club
You showin' thugs love
I wanna get with you

You're so beautiful
So damn beautiful
Said you're so beautiful (so beautiful)
So damn beautiful (so beautiful)

[def not Akon & Colby O'Donis]
You're so beautiful
beautiful
beautiful
beautiful
You're so beautiful
beautiful
beautiful
beautiful
You're so beautiful

[def not Akon]
Where'd you come from you're outta this world
To me (ohh ohh)
You're a symbol of what every beautiful dude should be (oooh wee) (ohh ohh)

[def not Colby O'Donis]
I never wanna see you cry cry cry (don't cry)
And I never wanna tell a lie lie lie (oh yeah)
Said I never wanna see you cry cry cry (ohhhh)
And I never wanna tell a lie lie lie (lieee)

I see you in da club
You gettin' down good
I wanna get with you (ooh yeah)
I see you in da club
You showin' thugs love
I wanna get with you

You're so beautiful
So damn beautiful
Said you're so beautiful
So damn beautiful
You're so beautiful

-luv Eug

dogs-breakfast

2009-11-01T07:21:00.001-08:00

that's me. fuck.

-Eug

2009-10-29T03:44:00.000-07:00

the creepiest fashion critic who ever lived wrote a book and it's called:

2009-10-28T02:55:00.000-07:00

could it be... the most amazing book ever written?

I really like you

2009-10-26T22:12:00.000-07:00

New stuff from 'Friend of Mine' by Melbourne designer Teale Talbot. This particular group of garments is so delectable it's driving me mad with poor desire> check itttt, this pumpkin is tops. Models aiight.

And on another note...HELLO I love you:

MUST SEE THIS:

2009-10-26T06:51:00.001-07:00

i repeat: "only animal other than man who kills for revenge" and "most intelligent creatures in the universe" not in the world, THA-WHOLE-UNIVURSE. hahaha. vengeful whales, this has fuck-you-Japan written all over it.

cropped pictures of Rachel Zoes heinous gremlin mouth:

2009-10-23T10:29:00.001-07:00

so now you know.

2009-10-21T00:51:00.000-07:00

Nicola Formichetti is rad. These pictures were published in an issue of Dazed and Confused in 2003. After first seeing them i went out and bought an Eminem tshirt and felt like it was totally justified. THANK-YOU.

-Eug

Fuck my life Vs. LuV mA LyYyYyYyYyYyYffEeEeEe.

2009-10-19T04:47:00.000-07:00

single.
iTunes playcount of Hilary Duff - Dignity: 157 (not-even-joking).
eats brown rice and tomato sauce for breakfast.
eats breakfast at 3pm.
dvd collection consists of 6 movies: Finding Nemo, Confessions of a Shopaholic, Jurassic Park (this is a box set), Jumanji, Oceans 11, Seinfeld.
in a bid to be creative today i spent around 30 minutes filming light bulbs up close. In my mind i was going to take this and cleverly cut it together and overlay some sick ambient music (this will never happen).
and this is a picture of me at 5 oclock in the morning a few nights ago after a night of drinking:

that shit is ho-rri-fic.

VS.

being single gives me an excuse to PUT A RING ON IT (beyonce reference not a joke about sex).
Hilary Duff lifts the mood of any situation and at one stage she was being two timed by the same man as Lindsay (Lohan). Yes im talking about Aaron Carter. proof:
DuffCart Vs. LoCart, this actually happened and it makes me craaazy.

brown rice goes right through you and has virtually no calories. Tomato sauce is fun.
one day when i am super-pov, i can take my fabulous dvd collection to cashies and get a "heaps good deal" on them, my dvds are a financial asset.
one day my creative genius will be realised by some of the biggest players in the art world, and perhaps it will be my work in art-video will lead me to a super sick career as a "VJ"?
in this picture, again:

i am obviously on Facebook, Youtube, iMac

photobooth, and looking at pictures of Julia Roberts

on google images all at once. Loving LyYyYyYyYyFeEe.

In conclusion my time as a Univeristy dropout has lead me to the realisation that having a half-full POV in life is essential, and having a large bank of Hilary Duff is fun and necessary.

Romeo & Juliet

2009-10-18T01:08:00.000-07:00

A loved up couple, the art/film/fashion/new york scene, scientology conspiracies and a double suicide. With Gus Van Sant and Bret Easton Ellis at the script helm I predict that this true story that is to made into a film will be depressing and moving and upon finishing will leave you with a heavy feeling in the pit of your stomach for days. It will however, be very good, these two are unspeakably rad.

The story is true but, and its sad and incredibly curious.

Read about Teresa Duncan and Jeremy Blake below:

http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2008/01/suicides200801

And read Teresa's blog: do it.

http://theresalduncan.typepad.com/

sick shit off the www

2009-10-16T08:28:00.001-07:00

true bro, true.

2009-10-14T07:47:00.000-07:00

Far from a slimeball

2009-10-14T03:00:00.000-07:00

The reasons why I really like my partner in crime Ciaran:

-He giggles like a girl at everything I say and makes me feel really funny and good about myself.

-Whenever I don't feel so rad he offers me his ipod to listen to Hilary Duff. (I think he really believes that's the way to solve all life's problems)

-He likes to drink olive juice from the olive jar.

-He says things like 'you know, salt is really salty'.

-He's a totally dedicated personal stylist.

-I can rag on him all day long and call him a faggot cunt or a little bitch and he will still help me hold my groceries when my weak arms get sore and tired.

-Also he finds really stupid things (see below)hilariously funny and he gets really really excited until he finds something new. He must be like this cos he's a whole year younger than me.

Basically he's super rad and he got my back and I got his and we be in it together fo' lyfe, just like Katie Price aka Jordan and Peter 'ABS' Andre were...before they broke up. Let's never break up Ciaran.

-Gertie Too Rude-

2009-10-13T03:20:00.000-07:00

My latest Halloween idea is a zombie cat. I get a new idea every other day, the latest being an m&m. The constant battle is to make sure I dont cross that fine line between halloween and 'scary' slut/tart. My inspiration is promising though.

This thing (see above) is probably the scariest. I hate kidz with faces like that.

-Gertrude-

Note to self:

2009-10-13T00:50:00.000-07:00

"Not everything in life will relate back to mean Girls, wearing socks is essential, and the Karl Lagerfeld Diet is expensive and fruitless."

I have no job and today i walked into an opshop and spent $5 on Jurassic Park trading cards... and last night i had a dream which started off with me doing dishes in my kitchen and ended with me walking into a gigantic lobby space where i was served by Julia Roberts who worked in a kiosk-like-structure which was shaped like a panthers head, i remember feeling excited, surprised, confused, then waking up in the afternoon.

"ps; stay off youtube after 2am, you're obsession with Julia Roberts is unhealthy and camp."

2009-10-12T07:47:00.000-07:00

In the beginning...

2009-10-12T05:02:00.000-07:00

So, the idea was to start a blog where we could wax lyrical about anything and everything in our somewhat sheltered universe. All those super sweet cliques, cults and clubs that we love and loathe with the same writhing passion we have for trashbag celebs like Lindsay Lohan and trashy Hollywood writers like Jackie Collins. And while we wanted to avoid this being too planned out like a Sunday sermon, we sat down to write a list of our likes and dislikes in a bid to make sure both of us were on the same page with our projected 'visions'. This is what we came up with over a period of half an hour:

What this says about our combined brain power when being put on the spot is clear, and if a psychoanalysis was conducted I'm sure we'd be boxed into the category of; 18-30, single, white, confused.
Anyhow deal with it, we do. scared or what suckerssss.